Every Black Person Must Go See SELMA and Here’s Why!!!

Screen Shot 2014-12-26 at 3.08.22 AMLast night my husband (yes I love saying that) Cas and I went to go see Selma. Boy, I must tell you that this movie was the truth and nothing but the truth. Selma is one of the most powerful movies you will ever see in our lifetime. It did a great job of showing the fight, the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his crew, had to help us get our civil rights. Walking in the theater I was surprised to see that there we’re only a few black people in the theater to see this movie. I am going to assume it was because it was Christmas and not because of any other reason.

I don’t want to give the movie away but I am telling you that you better be ready to shed a tear or two especially if you are a lover of triumphant stories like myself; Hey, I’m a thug (LOL) yet I cried so much while watching this film. This film made me feel powerful, hopeful, but most of all appreciative. It made me feel appreciative that I have the right to vote, that I have the right to own a business, the right to speak up when I want to, and most of all that I have the right to be free in America. As of late, there has been a lot of race relations going on and it’s sad because it makes me feel like we are going back to the 1960’s. Life is about progression and growth, so we don’t need to be going backwards.

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Me and Cas at the theater to see Selma

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Now this bring me to why I say every black person must go see this film… Let me first say that everyone should go see this film but especially black people because we have to do better as a people. We must realize that our ancestors fought for our freedom and that we give it away every time we kill one another or go to jail for things we actually did do bad. Back in the 60’s, people were locked up and even killed for defending their freedom or speaking up against authority. I know Dr. King is turning over in his grave every time he sees one of us reciting the words “I’m in love with the cocoa” or anytime he sees a chick on TV weave being pulled while being filmed. Music videos and TV shows are considered media and back in the ‘Selma’ days, revolutionaries used media to get their point across and to bring change.

The President of the United States would have never agreed to make changes if our people didn’t use the media for their advantage to get other people involved in the movement. The media is supposed to be used to spread a message and right now the message we are spreading through radio and television is that we are ignorant people who do not respect anything especially our history.

Knowing your black history is very important because it shows you how far we have come as a people and how further we must go to really make CHANGE. As I write this, I feel great that a black man is in the highest chair of power in the United States. Watching Selma will make you see how hard something like that had to be to get that seat. Now it seems like we are back in the civil rights movement and fighting for our right to be black but this time we have more of a voice. As a Multi-Media Personality, I would make it my duty to spread more positivity… I mean, I am already positive but I vow to be even more positive because that is what Dr. King would want me to do. I also vow to not only enjoy an extra day of sleep on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day but to do something charitable that will help my fellow man. Most of all, I will try my hardest to stop using the word nigga (even when I am reciting a rap song) because that word was made to destroy us and I am not going to pretend that changing the meaning of the word, changes the damage it has done in the past.

We have to do better… We have to read more (because we have the right to), we have to turn off the radio while driving our children to school and make them do math problems or recite poetry, we have to want more… Life is more than getting the new 11’s (that’s Jordans for some of you who don’t know); go out there and learn something! You have to travel; I know far too many people who are almost 30-years-old who never even been on a plane. Man, we got the freedom now, we must use it before the freedom uses us. Most of all, we have to live as good examples for our kids and fathers, you must do more than just put a baby in a woman and keep it moving. Kids need examples and they are only going to get better when we ourselves get better.

All I can say is Selma is a powerful movie and you must take your behind to go see it. If you can sit and watch trashy TV on Monday nights, you can go out there and spend two hours on a movie that will change your outlook and life. The movie was well written by Paul Webb. The Director of the movie, Ava Duvernay, is great and so are all of the actors in the movie. Shout out to their Casting Director, Aisha Coley, she did a greattttttt job casting that movie. I think actors like Stephan James (who reminds me of Nate Parker when he first came out) and Keith Stanfield has a good shot of being our next big actors. I would love to see them on the big screen again.

I just feel so hopeful for a better future and am just sitting here like, how can I do more? You know a movie is great when it provokes the greatness in you. Overall, I give Selma 6 stars out of 5. I am still wowed! Selma is in limited theaters right now but will be everywhere January 9, 2015. Spread the word!

*Sidebar: Seeing Selma helped me learn more about Hosea Williams, who is indeed Porsha Williams (of Real Housewives of Atlanta) grandfather. He had a huge part in the civil rights movement which you will learn more about once you watch the film. With that being said, my girl Porsha must carry herself a little better because she has a legacy she has to carry on. I advise her to take it more seriously. Peace.

Did you go see Selma? Share your thoughts on this movie by making a comment below! Thanks.

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s Daughter Shiloh Wants to Be Called John. Do Kids Have Too Much Freedom Now Days?

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So browsing online, I found an article about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s first biological child, Shiloh, wanting to be called John. Reading the article I found out that both Brad and Angelina support their daughter’s decision to be called John and to dress like a boy. Shiloh aka John has a short hair cut like a boy and wear suits like her older brothers. As I read the article, I started to get mixed feelings about this topic. My mixed feelings came from what I had learned in college about gender and about what I learned growing up. The article argued that just because she wants to be called a masculine name and wear masculine garments doesn’t mean that she will grow up to be a transgender adult. They think that she may just be copying her older brothers and that it’s nothing to worry about.

Speaking to my husband (yes, I got married on 12/13/14- more on that in a later post), he is outraged that Brad and Angelina would even let their daughter dress like this and call herself John. His strong opposition made me ask myself, do kids have too much freedom now days? Shiloh aka John is only 8-years-old; is she capable of making a decision like this at this age and is it healthy that her parents allow her to dress like this knowing the effects it may cause in her life later on. The article also talked about Brad and Angelina referring to the little girl as “they” instead of her or him. Wow, that is a lot to swallow.

I am all for parents supporting their children and letting them explore their life but in today’s society, have parents gone too far with the freedom card? Is it no longer a parent’s responsibility to protect their kids and guide their decisions especially at a tender age of 8. Do the rules of parenting change when you are famous? Thinking back at my upbringing in East New York (Brooklyn) with my father (a very aggressive manly man) and my mother (a very womanly woman)… I know for sure they would have whipped my ass if I didn’t want to wear the clothes they bought me and would have told me if I want to dress like my name was John, I would have to get a job and pay my own bills.

In my crib growing up, kids didn’t have no say on what they did… You had to do what you were told to do and that was that. Now a days, kids have choices but are they smart and mature enough to make their own choices. I remember hearing a woman say one day, “Oh my daughter doesn’t eat vegetables because she don’t like them.” That really tripped my mind out. Like, you really don’t feed your daughter veggies, which is nutriment for her body, because she doesn’t like them. Wow, she better not complain when her daughter end up being sick or something like that down the line. Huh, I remember my parents not even letting me leave the table if I didn’t eat my vegetables. I don’t know if parents are just lazy now a days and don’t want to deal with the tears and aggravation of what comes with saying the word no, or they just don’t care as much as our parents did, but all I do know is these kids are lucky because I couldn’t get away with half of the junk they get away with when I was their age.

I hope Brad and Angelina know what they are doing and I hope they continue to be supportive parents… We shall see what is ahead for little Shiloh aka John in the near future. Interested in reading the original article yourself, CLICK HERE! So I ask my Loveys, is Brad and Angelina right for supporting their child’s decision to wear boy clothes and be called John or are they dead ass wrong? Comment and share!!!!!

A Morning Message for People Who Are Facing Hard Love… Never Settle!

There’s nothing like easy love… having someone there for you whether you’re up or down, knowing that person is going to answer the phone when you call no matter what, and waking up to that person knowing that with you is where they want to be. You can keep all that hard ish: checking the phone to see if they called, calling them to make sure their ok because they didn’t call, them not answering, or answering saying they will call you back and then you waiting for them to call you back. Arguing to them about how they treat you like sh*t like they don’t know they are treating you like sh*t… Crying… etc. That ish is for the birds. A mate is supposed to be an addition to your life and happiness and if someone is subtracting from your life… Leave their asses where they are standing. There is more to life and there is a billion people in the world so there will always be someone better. ‪#‎Tionnaology‬

Dear Sexist America, Women Can Cheat Too Without Getting HIV or Having a Mental Problem!

 

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Last night, my babe Cas and I went to see Bille Woodruff’sAddicted.” The movie was written by Paul Hall and based off of a novel by Zane. I don’t want to ruin the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it yet but I can tell you its a movie mix between the 2002 thriller Unfaithful and Tyler Perry’s, “Temptation.”

Watching yet another movie about a cheating woman, whose consequences for cheating is quite severe, has showed me how sexist America truly is. What these movies are doing are scaring young women into monogamy. How come every time a woman cheat in a movie she end up being either mentally ill or having to almost die, or end up with HIV? These movies are saying that a woman can’t cheat unless she has issues or she is a bitch who wants to risk her whole life just for some pleasure. What these movies fail to do is show women who are satisfied with their husbands and who just are greedy for more just like men.

We all know that no matter how fly you are, how much balls of your man you decide to devour, or how many times you open your legs or mouth to satisfy your man that some men are greedy and will mess up a good thing because of their greed. Why must a woman be painted as not being satisfied or having to be raped in order to cheat? Cant they just be sexualized creatures without all the therapy mumbo jumbo. And why is rape or molestation apart of every black movie that is financed through Hollywood? Listen Hollywood aka America aka Society, some women are horny because they are horny… not because they were raped or molested.

Stop trying to paint a picture without having all your material together. Sure some women can blame their sexual promiscuity on being molested or raped but not everyone can. Some chicks like the D as much as men like the P. Overall, I just want society and these movies to stop making women think they are going to possibly die (if their husband don’t go and save them before the end of the movie) or get HIV (real original, Tyler Perry) if they screw around. Hey, you might live another day consequence free like most men who put their peen in everyone’s P knowing damn well that they have a great wife at home waiting for them at the end of the day.

And this is why all this cheating ish should end in the first place because it breaks bonds, it breaks homes, and most of all it turn you into a person that is unrecognizable but these movies need to STOP making women lose it all just because they are doing what men have been doing since the beginning of time. No I am not justifying it but I am seeing a shift in these movies since women started (well started making it known) that they too can play the same game.

What are your thoughts on women getting harsh consequences for cheating in these movies? Is it all in my head or is America just as sexist as they want to be? Why don’t we see more men having consequences for cheating? Oh, I forgot because cheating is a man’s right according to America. Anyway, talk about it!!!!!

Ask Tionna: Did Toni Braxton Make Tamar Braxton the Star She is Today?

Toni and TamarLast night, I watched WE TV’sBraxton Family Values,” which has slowly became one of my favorite shows. On last night’s episode, Toni and Tamar  debated about whether they should do their family single via record deal or independent style. Toni says that Babyface is going to co-sign the record for the family discount price via her record label. Tamar gets a little upset because she wants to do the record independently.

When it comes down to indie vs major, I will always (as an Artist and Boss) vote for doing it indie but it seems as if the other Braxton sisters do not agree with going the indie route. Maybe their bread isn’t right enough to take the risk or maybe they just want the “security” that a record label brings but whatever it is, they’re with Toni on going through the major route.

As the sisters sit and debate, Trina Braxton yells “20 years.” Trina is referring to Toni Braxton’s years in the game vs Tamar’s years in the game. Now this is a little unfair because Tamar has also been in the game a long time. She has had 5 record deals and she also knows the business. Hell, she’s married to Vincent Herbert for Christ sakes. Just because Toni has more successful years in the game doesn’t mean that her opinion should trump everyone else’s especially when Toni has been through many ups and downs in the business (financially) herself. Anyway, Trina saying this infuriates Tamar. Boy, Trina and Tamar has been really going through it this season. Trina then states that if it wasn’t for Toni, Tamar wouldnt be in the game… Tamar then states something along the lines of Toni didn’t make her.

So now here’s my take on whether Toni Braxton made Tamar or not… Toni didn’t make Tamar. Tamar always had a voice and she always grinded hard. Tamar is a wife, mother, singer, and even co-hosts a syndicated talk show. That takes lots of work and drive to make all of those things happen effortlessly. If Toni can make superstars, all of her sisters would be one… No shade. However, Toni did pave the way for her whole family. Sure with talent and hard work, Tamar and her sisters might have gotten a record deal but it wouldn’t have came as fast if they weren’t introduced to the world as Toni Braxton’s sisters! Hell, the name of their group was called The Braxtons. Back in the 90’s, Toni Braxton was HOTTTTTTT! And anyone associated with her was made hot (i.e. Tyson Beckford). It’s something called brand recognition. So yes Tamar, she definitely paved the way for you to be the diva you are today!

I think the sisters should stop throwing Toni in Tamar’s face because I’m sure it makes her feel a little insecure. Maybe Tamar making it to the next level makes them feel insecure… Who knows? But one things for sure is, they are family and they will work everything out in the end of the day. I have 5 sisters (some estranged) so I can totally relate to the sister-shade.

What do you think about the Braxton sisters? Do they throw Toni in Tamar’s face to bring her back to earth? Are they a little jealous of Tamar’s newfound success? Or are they just having a little drama in sake of Reality TV? Talk about it!

Being a Celebrity Is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be!- Ask Paula Jai Parker

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I just finished watching TV One’s new show, “Hollywood Divas.” Watching the show made me stop and reflect on a few things… The show opened up with showing my girl Paula Jai Parker’s life. If you don’t know who Paula is, I’ll tell you. She is an actress from the 90’s and starred in movies like Friday, Hustle & Flow, Proud Family, and Sprung. The show opened with her speaking about being homeless and living in a hotel with her husband Forrest and her son Onederful (no this is not a misprint. That is how his named is spelled). Hotel living is not the way I would expect Paula Jai Parker to live especially because she is such a diva but I am also a person in this industry so I know how hard it is to get a paycheck. I thank God I am a part-time TV Star and full-time Hustler because I too would be homeless if I had to depend solely on getting a check from Hollywood.

A lot of people I know hate their jobs and wish they too could be  a “celebrity” but I am here to tell you that it is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure everyone knows your name and you are invited to sexy parties but what happens when you go home and you realize after 10 years of being in the game, you have nothing to show at all. I always say, “You aint a star when you can’t afford a car,” and I am here to tell you that many of your favorite celebrities don’t even have a car of their own. They have to hang out with an entourage so they can have  a ride. Maybe it is their egos and expensive taste that makes them want Porsches and Ranges instead of a good ole Altima but hey, a car is a car. After “What Chilli Wants” I was driving my Altima with no problem. Yes, I have a luxury car now but that was well earned so it is well appreciated.

Yeah, being a celebrity aint nothing sweet even in the lower level. Just think about if you get broke (when the calls stop coming in) and everyday you are waiting for a new call or email for work to come in and it doesn’t come. You are driving luxury cars, living in a good neighborhood (because you can’t live in the hood because people recognize you), and can’t go and get a regular job (because someone will post your picture at the interview or you will get fired because theres too many people showing you attention and asking about some show or movie you did 5 years ago). This ish is real and thats why most CELEBRITIES are whores and have to fly to dubai and get f*cked just to get a check; I aint lying.

This being a celebrity aka known ish is no joke. That is why you see so many singers and actresses going for the Athletes type because they feel as if those are the only brothers who can afford to take care of them. And many need to be taken cared of because they have no checks coming in. What about royalties? Great question! Your royalty checks are low as hell if you never wrote anything. The writers are the ones with the money (Ask Kandi!) and on shows, especially Reality shows, you don’t get any money off of that unless you owned some of the show. Yes, gross receipts. All I know is, it’s better to be amongst the spotlight and not in the spotlight because when ish get real, it really get real and there really isn’t many people who are going to have your back besides your mama. Hell, even your cousin will threaten to call TMZ on you… Man, it’s real…

So while you are at your day job wishing your boss would put a stick of gum in his mouth because his breath is humming or while you are watching your back sneaking on the company’s computer to read this… Be thankful! Be thankful that you have a job and that when you are broke, it’s your business ONLY and not the whole worlds. I give it to them though because I would have quit being famous a long time ago if it meant me being homeless… They would have just had to write about me working somewhere because I can’t take being broke for too long. There’s something else going on with Paula and her husband… We shall see what that something else is as the show goes along.

Anyway, I’m home finishing my new book that will be out by the end of the year, so I will check you guys later.

xo

Tionna.

 

To Live or Not To Live With Your Man? That’s the Question… Here’s the Answer!

Screen Shot 2014-09-18 at 9.21.39 AMWhen I was younger, my parents would always tell me to never move with a man before marriage. Their explanations will always end with the phrase, “why buy the cow when you could buy the milk for free?” That quote always made me laugh! As I got older, I made a rule to never live with a man under any circumstances because of it. I didn’t want a man to live with me, use my body up, and discard me like day old milk.

I remember when I got my first apartment (rented two rooms for $600 in Bedstuy), my first love would be in my crib everyday yet we never officially moved in with each other. I guess you can say my parents words haunted me. I was ok with him spending a night almost every night and having the key but living together seriously was a no-no in my eyes! I felt free even though homeboy had a key… Hey, that rhymes.

Anyway, as I got older and had more experience with peen, I became more liberal. I met the love of my life and he made me feel very secure as a woman. As boyfriend and girlfriend, we would visit each other around 3-4 nights a week. It was fun waking up to him, then watching him get ready to go to work, and then going to get something to eat… It was a carefree life with no pressure! As time moved on I started to spend more time at his place to the point I was actually unofficially living there. Yeah, I kind of moved in (Unofficially)… Unofficially living there is when you stay at someone’s house but you have no clothes or any of your belongings in their posession.

Living with my babe (unofficially) was starting to get old so finally we decided to make it official and move together. I just finished the first season of “What Chilli Wants” and people in the hood was really starting to recognize me (and saw where I lived) so it was time to find a new low-key spot. Funny thing is I was sleeping on his couch when I first heard my voice on TV. Now my babe knew that I was against living with a man (officially) before I was married so he told me that I was going to be his fiancee’ before we moved into our own place. Tionna Tip: If you are planning to move in with your mate, make sure it’s a new crib. A new crib together will make the place OURS and not mine or yours also it will eliminate you getting kicked out when your mate gets upset.

Anyway, he proposed to me that summer and we moved in the next month. It was all good. He was a very easy person to live with and he was the same person he was from our overnight visits. It’s funny because some people are different people once you move in with them; Thank God he wasn’t anything like that. I enjoyed waking up to him but I disliked living with him. Living with man is like having a husband without actually having a husband. You guys have to handle bills together, see each other (even when you’re mad), and you have to be around each other everyday. All the cute things you used to do for them kind of go our the window because he lives with you and knows everything you are trying to do.

The worse part of living together is the lack of privacy. I like to be cute when I see my man… I can’t be cute when I gotta run into you on the late night tip heading to the bathroom when I got the shits… Ugh, I just hate living with a man. Try avoiding it at all cost especially if you are paying half the rent. You will be better off getting a roommate. Yes living with your man/mate saves you money but there is nothing like your freedom. When you guys get mad at each other, you can go home!!!! The option to go home helps make the relationship grow stronger.

You can deal with all that pressure once you get married but if you aren’t married all you are doing is playing house and we all know you can’t let these dudes get too comfy. My man wasn’t the reason for my distain for shacking up, its my lack of freedom that bothered me. As much as I love my man, I like my own bed sometimes. Hey, I like when  my boobs are able to lay in their perspective sides without being bothered. Lol.

Years later, me and him broke up and the move out was rough. Now we’re back in the mix with each other (that’s a whole other blog post) and when he’s home (at his crib), I miss him (ALOT); but I WON’T move in with him this time until we are married. I like the excitement of going to his house and being spoiled like a guest… I like the fact that it feels brand new and that we don’t see each other everyday. I really think you should only see your man/mate only 3 days a week or 3.5 if you are technical… That’s a half a week! That keeps things saucy and I like saucy and I won’t ruin that by moving in and I don’t think you should either (if you don’t have to).


 

Sisterhood of Hip-Hop’s Siya and Her Girlfriend Annrenaye Diaz Relationship is One of the Most Toxic in Reality Show History!

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Oxygen’s Sisterhood of Hip-Hop  is a pretty good show despite the bad lighting. I like all of the girls on the show especially Nyemiah Supreme and Siya. Siya seems like your cool, tomboy friend,  who you can tell all of your secrets to. She like most of the girls on the show is trying to get on in the entertainment business. The show depicts her life as an up and coming rapper who is signed under singer Tank’s record label, Soundbase Entertainment, who is going thru trials and tribulations with her label, her management (or lack there of), and her girlfriend Annrenaye Diaz.

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Annrenaye Diaz is a beautiful woman but she is needy as hell. Every time Siya goes to an event or does something with the other girls on the show, she flips out. I found out that Annrenaye aka Renaye is a Make-Up artist but looking at the show you will think she doesn’t have a job because she is always up under Siya. Siya may be what the LGBT community considers the AG (aggressor) but she is uber-sensitive and there has been multiple instances where she is seen crying because of the things that she is going thru in life especially with her girlfriend.

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Every time I watch the show and see Siya and her girlfriend, my skin crawls. As a Life & Relationship Coach, I can tell you that their relationship is extremely toxic. Renaye show signs of a needy woman who doesn’t want Siya to have a life outside of her. Renaye knows that Siya wants to be on top of her game and with her being on top she has to mingle, she has to go out, and she has to support people; yet Renaye becomes mad when Siya wants to go outside and do her. On one episode of the show, Renaye said that Siya was acting like a “thotish bitch” just because she wanted to work the room and network with the people who was there. What Renaye doesn’t understand is that if Siya didn’t want to include her in her world, she would have kept Renaye home and we would have never even heard of her. Calling your girlfriend a thotish bitch is or any kind of bitch is inappropriate especially when a camera is rolling.

Overall, I hope that Renaye’s behavior is an act to make her the next big thing in the reality TV world and not how she really act in real life. If this is indeed her real personality, Siya need to leave her alone before things get crazy because needy mates usually turn crazy and an upcoming superstar does not need to be in a relationship like that because it kills creativity.

What do you guys think of Siya and Renaye’s relationship? Do you think it has a future?

Domestic Violence in the Hood: Do We Take It As Seriously As We Should?

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As most of you may know, this Ray Rice and Janay Palmer domestic violence tape has brought a lot of pain, embarrassment, and a loss of a job. Like most professional athletes, Ray probably worked years and years to become trained enough to get in the professional league… Now one bad choice has lead him to be suspended from the National Football League INDEFINITELY. In case you are not familiar with the word, indefinitely means never ever again, terminated, finished. That is what the NFL decided to do with Ray’s contract with the Ravens.

Now, many people I have come across has said that Ray’s punishment was too much for the crime that he has committed especially since the NFL knew about the incident and only suspended him two games prior. Ray knocked his fiancé’ (at the time) out, tried to pick up her lifeless body, and tried to drag her out the elevator. Now, I analyze everything so I can tell you that the incident wasn’t what alarmed the NFL; it was the fact that Ray never showed sympathy in the whole video. Even when he saw that he had knocked her out, he didn’t try to see if she was ok or show any signs of remorse even after he realized what was actually happening.

Yes, the NFL probably knew that Janay got her ass whipped but they never imagined that Ray Rice, a man who makes 25 million dollars a year, would go so far especially in a public place. Sadly, we are living in a misogynistic world where women get their ass whipped everyday but no one expects an athlete to do it (in public). That is the problem with the world; they idolize famous people and sports players not realizing that they are human and they do stuff just like everyone else and that they are also emotional just like everyone else.

I can’t fault the NFL for terminating Ray Rice because in the past the NFL has dropped the ball. Many football players has been arrested for committing violent crimes especially against women. Hey, look at OJ Simpson! And let’s not forget that senseless crime former football player Rae Carruth committed in 1999 against Cherica Adams, a Real Estate Agent he was dating at the time. Rae got his friend to shoot her four times; thankfully she managed to call the police to tell them what had happened and how Rae stopped his car in front of hers so she could be shot. Cherica ended up dying but the doctors were able to save the baby. We also have Jovan Belcher, who killed himself in front of his coaches in 2012 after allegedly killing the mother of his child, Kasandra Perkins.

Why should the NFL wait to punish Ray Rice? They should punish him because it is a business and a woman beating athlete, who is admired by children all over the world, is indeed bad for business. It makes the NFL look bad and like they have no control. They are trying to make an example out of Ray Rice and I can’t say I don’t blame them for doing so. So why are people in the hood so mad? And why is Janay Palmer not mad enough? Well, its because in the hood, men fighting women is no big deal. I was born and raised in the East New York section of Brooklyn and I have saw many women get their ass whipped by the hands of a man. I never believed it was ok because men are substantially bigger and stronger than women. Also, many men that I have saw hit women wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight against a man. Seeing domestic violence in the hood often makes people from the hood more immune to seeing it. The more you see something happen with little to no consequences is the more acceptable it becomes.

When a woman gets hit in the hood, most of the time she fights back or she was the person who hit the man first and that is why people in the hood don’t feel like domestic violence is such a big deal. She may call the police but sooner or later she will drop the charges or use the police report to go and get Section 8. Man, it’s real in the hood. What we have to understand is that domestic violence is wrong! A man should never hit a woman no matter what and a woman should never hit a man. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves! Sadly, boys in the hood are taught that if a woman hit them, they should hit their ass back; No questions asked. But is that mindset a good mindset to have when your son might be the next Obama or the next Ray Rice? It is just smart to teach your son to walk away from the problem instead of putting yourself at risk to lose everything you have or may get in the future. Should 20 years of hard work be thrown out the window because you lack the self-control to walk away? Why aren’t we teaching our kids that you don’t need the person if you have to fight them- PERIOD?

It is time for people in the hood especially to start taking domestic violence seriously because we are losing women every day to it. There are men out here that are holding women hostage (mentally and physically) and there are men who are using their fist and strength to control a woman and it’s not just happening to celebrities. It is happening to our friends, our sisters, our mothers, hell ourselves and it is time for a change. I especially know this all too well; back in 1994 my Aunt Brenda Lee Smalls, was murdered by her child’s father. It is something that hurts my family to this day. I also lost a classmate in 2002 to domestic violence. My classmate, Michelle Gomez, was shot and killed in a beauty salon on Valentine’s Day by her child’s father. He also murdered himself. These stories and the people I am telling you about is real; so think about it the next time you decide to tell your son to hit a woman if she hits you first or the next time you say that you had a fist fight with a man.

I feel sorry for Janay because she doesn’t realize how abused she really is. Even the statement she posted on Instagram blaming the media versus blaming the man who committed the action against her shows me just how brain washed she really is. See it for yourself!!!!!

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Also, below is a chart of what domestic violence is just incase you don’t know what it really is all about:

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Ray Rice & Janay Palmer: A Marriage that Never Should Have Been!

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Earlier today, footage of Baltimore Raven’s Running Back Ray Rice domestic violence attack against his then fiance’, now wife, Janay Palmer was released. Watching the tape reminded me of that scene in “What’s Love Gots to Do With It?” Where Ike (played by Laurence Fishburne) and Tina (played by Angela Bassett) was walking in the hotel after having a fight in the limousine.

Anyway, the video I saw starts with Palmer walking to the elevator. You can see both Palmer and Rice hitting each other like two kids. All of a sudden the elevator opens and the couple proceed to walk in it. At this time you can see that Palmer is definitely intoxicated. She and Rice continue to bicker when Rice throws a slight blow. Once he does that, she runs to him and this is where he punches her in the face and knock her out cold.

I have seen some chicks get knocked out by dudes in my day so I will rate this knock out from a 1-10, a 7. He didn’t use that much force but since she was already intoxicated, she fell right to sleep after the punch. What Rice did after the knock out is what alarmed me more than him actually hitting her was that he tried to pick her “lifeless” body up as soon as the elevator opened. That showed me that he had a little bit of killer in him.

Watching this video showed me three things, 1) Ray Rice and Janay Palmer’s relationship is TOXIC with a capital T 2) They get drunk and fight like this all of the time and 3) They got married to save face and save Rice’s NFL career. First off, these two have too much drama. Usually when these type of domestic violent occurrences happen, society blames the man but I am going to blame both of these dummies because you can tell that they are lacking the maturity it takes to be in a relationship much less a marriage. I don’t care if he’s in the NFL or not, he has to get himself together. You can tell he’s a young buck (he’s 27) because who would risk their career like that by fighting their woman in a elevator? Even Jay-Z, a dude straight from Brooklyn, knew not to knock Solange ass out in a elevator where cameras are possibly rolling.

These two both need prayer and Alcohol Anonymous and then maybe they could work on their relationship. They went and got married like that was going to make things better. All the marriage did was help Rice because the law states that the state can’t force a wife to testify against her husband. Man, I tell ya, we gotta stop playing with marriage. This is why no one is taking it serious now. All I can say is, I won’t be surprised if I watch the news and hear that this couple’s relationship ended in a fatality. I pray not but only time will tell.

What do you think Ray Rice and Janay Palmer should do with their toxic relationship? Should they stay together or go their seperate ways? Also, remember violence is never the way to solve anything.